It's been awhile

Tuesday, April 13, 2010
It's been awhile since I've written. I would make an excuse, but it wouldn't fix anything, so I'll just say that I'm very grateful for your patience. Things have been interesting here. I wanted to start back up after reading the story of a boy named Conner. It's been a real kick in the pants, reading about the boy. I have no excuses for not being more in the game. I have a daughter who turned 4 in December and who needs more effort from myself if we're to find a cure before the disease gets her.

I guess I just got tired. Our lives went into a mini-tailspin a few months ago when we learned that the Navy was sending my family to Dahlgren, Virginia. I know, you have no idea where that is. Neither do CF doctors, the nearest of which is over 60 miles away. I promise that I know many CF parents have to deal with taking their kids that far (we'll actually be going nearly 80 to the nearest Navy hospital). But that doesn't make it easier for me. I fought the Navy hard on this decision, and my own heart. I didn't want to believe that God would be taking us to a place so far from a treatment center. My friends tried to comfort me by saying that God had good things in store for us.

Yes, someday, in heaven. God promises nothing of the sort now. I won't get into a theological/philosophical argument on the subject now, but the fact is, I wasn't buying it. I was hurt. I prayed so hard for a better location and honestly, God didn't give it to me.

For a few weeks, I just about gave up on everything. I lost my energy to raise money, to read blogs, to write blog posts, really to do anything. Things are better now, but I guess I'm just still facing the aftermath of this massive change in our lives.

But Samantha is still healthy, and for that I am grateful to God. I may have had words with him and felt powerless against his will, but that doesn't keep me from being grateful for his love for my daughter. Her brother Timothy, who does not have CF, has been a champ. I love him dearly. He helps her and even made up a song for her when she starts coughing. I'll try to post that some time. Alicia and I are doing extremely well and are planning our future in rural Virginia as best we can.

God is good, all the time, because he cannot be otherwise. I am so much less than that, but it is what it is. I just wanted to tell everyone why I wasn't interacting as much as I used to. I'm coming back around because we are doing fundraising this year, albeit in a different way. More details to follow. Thank you again for your patience.