Pre-Deployment Blues

My upcoming deployment has been weighing on me this weekend. As each day brings with it one less moment with my family, I find myself anxious and depressed. It’s not that I don’t love the Navy. I do. I’m a sailor through and through. I love seeing foreign countries, I love a swift ship moving fast through the water below my feet, and I love wearing a uniform I am proud of. But I am disheartened about leaving my family.

Still, I am leaving, whether I want to or not. Thankfully, we’ve known the day was coming for some time and we’ve been able to spend time together as a family. I’ve also thought a lot about what I want from this deployment. There are a lot of things I want from deployment, such as some weight loss, money saved, etc, but here is my short list:

1. I want it to be a productive deployment. I don’t want to come back six months later and realize I’m the same guy I was. This is where weight loss and money management come in.

2. I want to continue fighting CF while I’m away. I have plans to try and meet people if I hit the right port (sorry, can’t tell you which ones). I also plan on continuing a letter campaign. I’m on letter number 2 right now, thus fulfilling my New Year’s Resolution on that matter, but I’d like to fire off a few more even when I’m gone.

3. I want to have a better fundraising year this year than last. I don’t care if I’m deployed honestly. I’m blessed in that I’m not a Marine or Soldier, so I will have time at the computer where I can work on fundraising, and point people to my wife if I can’t win them over myself. We honestly do hope to raise more this year than last year.

4. I want to learn Spanish…not crazy well, but well enough to pass in San Diego as a Kansas farm boy who tried to learn a language. That’s all I need.

If you would, please pray that Alicia will be strong while I’m gone. This isn’t her first time fulfilling the role of single mom, but no deployment is easy for a family. If they were easy, more sailors would stay in after they got married. Alicia is my sweetheart and my kids are my passion. Please join me in asking God to cover them.

Thank you all. Your comments so far have energized me as I write for this partnership between myself and Alicia. I know we can beat cystic fibrosis if we keep working at it.

I started this post in the dumps about my deployment, but my spirits are up now. I hope to continue posting even when I’m gone, although probably not as often as I have been so far. And as I get ready to leave, I hope I come back with all of you in good health and us six months closer to a cure for this disease!